


The scales of beauty

by Clinical_awesomeness



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 17:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20475110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clinical_awesomeness/pseuds/Clinical_awesomeness
Summary: Roman stood their, turning in a multitude of angles and looking at the mirror like it was an enemy, and he didn’t like what he saw. Roman was known for striving for the best it can be, perfection in a way. if it wasn’t perfection, it wasn’t good enough.





	The scales of beauty

Roman stood their, turning in a multitude of angles and looking at the mirror like it was an enemy, and he didn’t like what he saw. Roman was known for striving for the best it can be, perfection in a way. if it wasn’t perfection, it wasn’t good enough. they all know he can be scrutinizing, to a dangerous point even, but they didn’t realise how scrutinizing he could be towards himself. his shoulders were a bit to large, his stomach a bit to round and he is just a bit to tall for his liking. with every judgement he felt a bit of his heart tear away. i mean what do the fans know him for? the hot popular persona and right now he is not either, it’s not just his looks he judges, it’s the others to- judging sound a bit harsh he will admit, it’s more like comparing. he isn’t proud to admit but he is envious. envious of Patton’s curly hair and dashing freckles, envious of Virgil’s skinniest yet tough muscles and of Logan’s perfect height and facial structure. all things he wish he could have himself, yet couldn’t. all he see’s are imperfections and some of them aren’t even in his looks, he felt like he wasn’t interesting enough, no one would care about what he said otherwise. people expected him to be the loud, extravagant, joyful persona but on some days he didn’t feel like any of them. he felt alone and hurt as he slumped back on his bed, so much to wish for yet so little he got, he wished to light up a room as Patton did, have a vast knowledge like Logan and be adored like Virgil. yet he knew he was none of them, sometimes he didn’t know who ‘he’ was, always hiding behind a extra persona was tiring and and some point it just doesn’t feel real. He hated the imperfections, he was ugly inside and out and there was no way to change it.

“ugly? is that so? i’m afraid i have to tell you that, that is a blatant lie” a smooth voice appeared and a shadow walked out from the corner of the room as the snake came out.  
“what do you want, deceit” he said yet he couldn’t muster any venom in his voice, it came out as dejected and hurt. something others couldn’t think of him like. “To talk of course, you know about my love to converse on particular subjects…” he spoke while gliding across the room to meet roman, sitting down on his bed roman let out a sigh  
“ can’t you get Logan or something, he’s smart and likes the debates you have..i’m not that good at them.”  
“nonsense, though Logan is intelligent his opinions can be unwavered, at times. and honestly i want to debate with you” he said while leaning forward, even fiddling a bit with his gloves. weird. “oh- Ok then. uh shoot” he said leaning up.  
“What defines beauty?” he says slowly, looking straight at roman.  
“well, um, people see beauty differently in different ways…” he looked down shyly. “Well i disagree, i feel that society created beauty, in my eyes beauty doesn’t exist” he said while slowly placing an arm behind roman, roman looked down dejectedly “ well it’s more of people opinions, different people find beauty in different things, i don’t feel all opinions are swayed by society” “interesting point of view, but i have to disagree, i feel that beauty is non existence as the beauty we know is created by society, to be thin yet muscular, tall yet not too tall, has a sharp face etcetera… its all created by human and what they think is beautiful.” he said before turning comepletely towards roman… “well, um its…” roman stumbled as he felt he was trapped in a corner.  
“do you think i’m beautiful?” deceit said quick upfront.  
“wait- well yeah, you are.” roman said a bit flustered, unsure of whether deceit knew about his harbouring feelings for him as he felt his anxiety higher.  
“really? if you find me- with half of my face covered by scales- beautiful then how you can’t realise how beautiful you are, beautiful too me…” 

and for the first time in what felt like an eternity roman cried, cried out all the pain and insecurity and for the first time deceit was their to hold him, whispering loving words and eventually the pain and tears started to ease.

**Author's Note:**

> short and shit


End file.
